It’s crazy how stressful moving can be. There is something about coming home from a new job to a new house that welcomes the old friend of anxiety. And there is something about driving on new streets or going for a run in a new neighborhood that brings about the old friend of confusion.
Everyday you set goals like, I’m going to unpack ten boxes and organize half a room. And then you end up putzing around in one box because you find something that you haven’t seen in five years. When did I get that? or Why do I have this? The boxes speak of what once was. Each is full of stories and memories. But if you hold on to what once was too tightly, it’s hard to move forward with what’s happening now.
Two years ago I was a stay at home husband. It wasn’t exactly a title in which I took pride. I looked for jobs, but couldn’t find one. It was a blast getting to ride my bike and surf as much as I wanted. I enjoyed cooking and taking care of things around the house for my wife. But, deep down, it stressed me out. It got old very fast. A year ago I was getting ready to move to Malawi. I packed up my life into a ten by ten storage unit. I was worried about moving all the way to Africa and about saying goodbye to what was comfortable. It too stressed me out.
And now, I have a job that I am going to love. I live in a community that I am going to love. I live with the woman I love. I’m not far from family and some of my best friends that live less than 15 minutes away. And…it’s stressful.
As a trophy husband, as uncomfortable and humbling as it was, I eventually reached a place where I was at ease with my role. And, believe it or not, I actually could have lived in Malawi longer than I did and would have been just fine. I know Hailey and I will grow to appreciate our new community in Huntington Beach and I know my gifts are a perfect fit for my role at St. Peters By-The-Sea. But that doesn’t make the transition easy.
I look forward to actually being here. But for the time being, the process of settling down is simply unsettling.